It’s been a while…
It’s been another long while since I last posted. So long in fact that I had to actually read the last blog I wrote to remind myself of what I said, and oh the irony! I was talking about screwing up my courage to tackle my quagmire of doubt, and then I disappeared into a hole of doubt for almost a year. I’m choosing to find it funny instead of depressing.
It’s also super frustrating, of course, to look back and realise I haven’t progressed as much as I’d have liked. But I have progressed some, and some is not none, so that’s something. And if I’m honest, I’m the kind of person who’s always reaching for more, so if I’d managed to publish my book last year as I’d planned, I’d just be berating myself for not having released a second novel right now.
Obviously that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try and achieve the goals I set, simply because there’s always another one behind it, but this self-knowledge is helping me reframe the way I think about goals. I’m trying harder now to focus on the process, rather than the destination, because the process is where the fun is, it’s where the learning happens.
Not going to lie, it’s hard. I am typically quite outcome focussed, plus I need a fair amount of validation, so losing myself in the process and just trusting myself does not come naturally to me. But I figure life’s about evolution and discovery, so I’m trying.
I’m kind of bringing you into the story a bit late, though, probably because all of these revelations have taken a while to build up. And even though I haven’t perhaps done as much as my tricksy brain thinks I should have done, I have been doing stuff and learning valuable lessons along the way.
In the past 10/11 months since I last posted, I joined a critiquing writer’s group, I submitted my MS for editorial feedback, I signed up to a few writing events and I started a new writing project (several in fact, but that’s just how I roll).
All in all it hasn’t been wasted time. And I have definitely learned a lot from these experiences, which is really what I’m striving for at this point.
So, there you have it, I’m back, again, and ready to restart sharing my journey with you, and more importantly, share what I’ve learned along the way. I hope it might help you on your journey, whether it just makes you feel less alone, or you gain some insight from it, these sorts of things are always best when shared.